Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Since I go to the theatre on a regular basis and because rottentomatoes.com depresses me, I’m writing my own reviews!

The Wolverine

  You are having a nightmare:   You’re on the show Masterchef and you’re baking a soufflé for the first time. Why are you on Masterchef?  Cause and effect does not exist in this nightmare, so you have no idea how you ended … Continue reading

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Awesome Movies That Are Making Sci-Fi Better

Well it’s October. You know what that means! Movie review season! Time to kick off blockbuster season with an exciting introductory article! Q- Sorry, blockbuster season is over. You could try Sears. A- I’m not sure if that makes sense, … Continue reading

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Snow White and The Huntsman

Featuring: Charlize Theron, Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth Canadian Rating: PG   Here is my review of Snow White and Huntsman: the movie that was slightly more anticipated than Mirror Mirror. I ended up watching this movie at the midnight showing, … Continue reading

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Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Shia LaBoeuf, Rosie Huntington-Whitely, John Malkovich, Leonard Nemoy Canadian Rating: PG Despite the following things: My distaste for the first Transformers movie, My anger toward this genre of films from all the laziness that goes into making them, Michael Bay, … Continue reading

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X-Men: First Class

James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Kevin Bacon, Rose Byrne Canadian rating: PG Dear Cuban Missile Crisis: It has come to my attention that you are boring. Get yourself together and come see me when you have a real problem. I really don’t … Continue reading

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The Adjustment Bureau (Guest Review by Pertopolis)

Matt Damon, Emily Blunt Canadian Rating: PG Initial thoughts during opening sequence:  Another film set in New York City?  We make movies that take place in other galaxies but Hollywood can’t tell a sci-fi story set in Uganda, Uruguay or … Continue reading

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Thor

Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Kat Dennings, Anthony Hopkins Canadian Rating: PG You are probably wondering what’s the deal with Pertobello? Did she retire? If so, that picture of her makes her look really young.    No, I did not retire. Here … Continue reading

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